Do you still have your period?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
