i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
How does it feel to date your dad?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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