And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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