what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
