my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
