you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize