Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
