We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
