Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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