Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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