Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
