So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
