He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
