Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
