Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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