I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I can't put those talents on a resume
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
