So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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