weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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