so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
