i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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