Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
"it" just moved
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
