How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
