Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
