How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Randomize
