as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
