Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
