Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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