i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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