She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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