I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
