I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
