I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
