what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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