Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize