Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
