So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
