i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
