At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
