People in love make me want to vomit
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
