I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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