gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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