i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
