We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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