He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize