Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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