I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
