The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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