you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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