I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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