i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize