I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
