I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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