Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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