I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
