Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
