btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
