It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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