This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize