why didn't you poke me back
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
