All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize